rice and corn

Hi Chunk Light.

I've cycled through like 5 topics to write about this morning. Bush, Myspace, Tea, Real Estate, and responsibility. I don't want to write about any of that shit. So what to do now?

Some people have inquired as to why I always address readers as if they're fat people. My answer is simply "Because!" How do you like that, bitch tits?

The NBA is getting rid of their new microfiber ball, and going back to the traditional leather. What will be done with all those soon-to-be-un-official, new fangled, high tech ones? They'll prolly give 'em to the military, to be dropped upon foreign lands from airplanes as a token of our appreciation with little cards that say:

"Dear war-torn African and/or Middle Eastern country we're not currently bombing:

Merry Christmas! Jesus loves you. Here are some basketballs we don't need anymore. Sorry it's not food, but a bunch of idiot, idealistic twenty somethings in Green Peace won't have us delivering genetically altered corn and rice to you. Yes, they care more about the hype behind the term "genetically modified" than actually helping to put a small dent in world hunger. They think "genetically modified" means that the food is poisonous and full of the same chemicals that were killing the Lorax, but their failing to realize that just about anything they eat is or has been genetically modified by human beings, because that's what farming and cultivating does. And they certainly don't have a problem carrying around genetically modified little lap dogs in leather bags that cost enough American dollars to sustain your village for and entire year. But hey, at least you guys can have a nice game of hoops while you starve to death, and with a little practice, maybe over the next few years we'll come back and exploit some of your best talents (or just steal your tall ass dudes like Manute Bol and Dikembe Mutumbo).

Love,

America"

Guess I'm ramblin' now. Well... as we can derive from the microfiber balls, ya win some, ya lose some.

How 'bout that? I got through like... a paragraph and a half about balls without making one single joke about testes. This is truly a proud moment for me.