Eat shit

Good morning, fatty.

It's Tuesday Morning, and you all know what that means...! Nothing, really. Its just another Tuesday.

The other day, Ben and I were riding home from an early morning trip to the grovery store (we realized with great alarm that we were out of bacon, and French toast just isn't the same without fried strips of greasy swine). We were sitting at a red light and he says, "Dad, when I get older, I'm gonna say bad words." And so ensued the bad-word conversation that parents must eventually have with young children. I told Ben that if he wanted to, we could say some bad words together. I explained that I won't ever get mad at him for saying them, as long as no one else hears him, and that there was a time and place for saying those words. "If you want to say one now, go ahead." I said.

"Fuckin' bitch."

"Wow, Ben. That is quite a cuss word. When would anyone say that?"

"When you're driving, and someone goes in front of you and almost hits you like this (motions with his hands), then you can say, 'Hey you fuckin' bitch!' to them."

"Oh. Is that what Uncle Luke says?"

"Yeah. He gets pissed at the cars."

"Yes, he does."

Anyway, we talked a little more on the subject of swearing, and I think he understands that lots of people are offended by them, and it's therefore rude to spout off at say, the grocery store. Or school. But I won't get too upset if it's just us, at home or something where a word is just a word.

Knowing the origin of some of these words makes it hard for me to deem them offensive. I'll explain, but not in great detail, because I can't remember all the specifics...

A long, long time ago, at the fall of the Roman Empire, there were a bunch of "barbaric" tribes that started takin' over shit that the Romans were leaving behind as thier empire came a-tumblin' down (Huns, Jutes, Anglos, Saxons etc). Two of these groups, the Anglos and the Saxons settled in and migrated throughout what is now modern England.

When these two tribes met and eventually melded, the similar but different languages spoken between them were combined. When this kind of integration happens throughout human history, it typically begins as a ruling calss and a subordinate class. I don't remember which (Anglos or Saxons) were the ruling class in this instance. The point is though, that the ruling class deemed some of the subordinate class' words offensive, simply becasue they were used by the lower class. Some of those words were shit, piss, and eat. That's right. the word "eat" was originally deemed a cuss word. It was preferred that one use the term of the ruling class, which was "dine". That would mean that back in the 4th or 5th century AD, "eat shit" was a real zinger.

It can be said then, that modern swear words have their roots in racism and opression. In fact, it seems to me that most of the folks I know that are highly offended by cussing are proverbial acorns that didn't fall too incredibly far from that tree, the main difference in attitude being dictated by the parlance of our time.

I know cussing can be impolite, and being a grifter by trade, I understand full well the power of manners and charm. I know that we all have buttholes, and farts come out of them, but it still doesn't make it right to fart at the dinner table. For those of you about to make the point that many of today's cuss words refer to body parts or functions (involving sex or excrement) which "decent poeple" fear or dislike and wish they didn't have, and that not saying cuss words, or following those universal rules of when, where and how to discuss them is a way of hiding from things they'd prefer not to deal with at all; I say simply, "Fuck You."

Talking about offensive things just for the sake of being offensive isn't funny, clever, cutting edge or new. Referencing either Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, South Park or Dave Chapelle isn't going to fly either, though they all did/do make good points. I think it's ok to let some things be offensive, and not wish to discuss them, and least not in certain company or circumstances. Sometimes, society as a whole needs a change, but that's a thing we all do together under the leadership of certain individuals such as those listed above. We'll all decide together when it's time to push things forward, but for now, I'll manage my personal family affairs how I see fit, keeping in mind that the rest of the world may not agree with me. Thing of it is, I'm not trying to change the rest of the world. I'm only trying to let my four year old son (and now the rest of you) know where I stand on cussing and why.

Fuckin' bitch.