trying a new strategy

Hi, Fatty. The Holiday season is finally over. Sustained celebrity casualties so far were Gerald Ford, James Brown and Saddam Hussein. There. I mentioned it. Now, let's not talk about it anymore. Let's talk about games instead. Specifically, the one we're all playing, but not talking about. Until now.

Everyone has a strategy in life. They use it in relationships, work, social interactions, everywhere. It's not always the same in every circumstance. Most people have different strategies how to operate in work and in home.

My work strategy has always been sort of reactionary. If I were a boxer, I'd be a counter-puncher. If I let you lead off, I can get a good idea of what I'm dealing with, and react accordingly. I'm also able to absorb a lot of punishment, and I don't get upset very easily, so unless you hit really, really hard, if you do catch me with a shot, I have a pretty good chance of staying cool.

My home strategy has been teamwork and patience. I'm like a nice boss, and try to politely delegate jobs to people. I try to choose jobs at which they naturally excel, because for one, they'll do do it well, and two, they don't seem to mind as much. When work needs to be done that everyone hates, I like to split it up. "If I clean the kitchen, will you run the vacuum?" That kind of stuff.

In relationships, I can be really unorthodox. I hit hard from strange angles. Flowers and gifts for no reason, for instance. This also works on the opposite end though in that I'll side step an argument on her terms, and pretend to be understand and docile, then, a week later, when she thinks all is hunky dory, I'll drop the bomb. It seems unfair, I know, but it's effective.

A new technique I'm trying out though, is to call it like I see it, and be (at times) brutally honest. Calling an emotional confrontation with your significant other a game, for instance. Because that's how it works with my girlfriend and I. When she's mad at me for something, she'll sometimes write mean poems or journal entries, and them tuck them away in places that she knows I'll eventually find them. It's like a booby trap. Then I have to bring it up, but when I do, she's got her strategy all planned out already, and can take me down, man. I don't know what they call that in your neck of the woods, but here, it's called a game. The object of which (I hope) is to eventually solve the problem and/or riddle. Calling it such, and then trying to set up some boundaries... y'know, rules, regulations and what not is my new experimental technique. I had an opportunity to try it out with my girlfriend recently, but it didn't go over too well. That's just because it was a bit of a surprise, and when I explained it, it seemed to her to be degrading and sarcastic, but it wasn't meant to be.

Call it like it is. Sometimes, we do bad things, and we're not sure why we did them, but in all actuality, if we were to admit to them and take a little responsibility instead of trying to cover them up, we'd realize that they weren't so bad after all. "Yes, I flirted with the girl at Coffee Bean, and I do think she's cute. She did give me her number." That doesn't mean I'm a cheater. It doesn't mean I've done anything wrong, really... especially if I cop to it right away. It wasn't the right thing to do necessarily, but nothing happened, and nothing was going to happen. I just got a little flattered over the attention of a PYT. I'm only a man.

"No, I haven't yet finished that project because it's miserable, and I found ten other things to do that were equally productive and important. Also, I've spent the last half an hour writing a blog." That doesn't mean I'm lazy or I've done the wrong thing. It'll get done, and in plenty of time (if there is a deadline). Just relax. Breathe.

Change your way of thinkin'.