Here's the bathroom door at my office:



Seems like a normal bathroom with typical, appropriate signage, right? Nothing to worry about here. However, there is a rather curious sign on the inside of the same door, shown here:



Huh. "Avoid accidents"? What exactly are they trying to say? I mean, usually, when speaking in reference to a bathroom of any kind, the term "accident" refers to a shart, squirt, leak or full fledged load being released where it shouldn't have been. In most cases, one's undies.

If this door were abnormally heavy, (it isn't), I might be able to make a case for such a sign in that if one were rushing to the bathroom with a turtle head pokin' out, said person would not want to quickly yank on something that is unexpectedly weighty. That would surely cause the deuce to drop in the ol' pantaloons. On that note, the same action could very well cause one to be standing in a puddle of warm urine.

A "bathroom accident" upon opening a door to quickly might also be caused by a person in a scary mask, hiding behind the wall opposite the door. I can assure you, however, that in a professional setting such as this, people in scary masks are quite uncommon, let alone ones that are hiding behind doors, literally waiting to scare the shit and/or piss out of you.

All I'm saying is that maybe they should have been more specific with the wording. The sign could have very well read, "To avoid hitting someone with the door, please open slowly". Then they wouldn't have some smart alack mocking them on the internet.

Right. Carry on then, and try not to soil yourself. Remember, every day that ends without poop in your pants is a successful and happy day, so heed the sign on the wall. May all of your undies remain dookie-free.