Wednesday, February 7, 2007

Thumb Sucker

I recently realized that I'm still a thumb sucker. I know, what the fuck, right? It's not that I still actually suck my thumb, but I often have a subconscious impulse that positions my hand in a relaxed fist, the curled fingers resting beneath my nose. My thumb extended and resting either beneath the embedded golf ball on the bottom of my face that I like to call my chin, or sometimes on the jaw line. I do this with both hands, but more often with the left. It's not an awkward position, necessarily. I just look like a guy resting his face on his hand, but I'm sure it comes from a subconscious compulsion to suck my thumb. It looks like this:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


Why am I telling you this? Because I'm a douche. A douche who has realized that a large part of our behavioural traits are in tact from the moment we are born. Mannerisms are hard wired into our human brain, and will probably never go away - so don't feel bad about them. Sure, people change. They learn. They grow. But really, you've been the same person from day one, and so has everyone else.

My suggestion is to run with it. I mean, there's little to nothing you can do to change it. Your efforts will be in vain. Not only that, but trying to change your subtle mannerisms might actually make you more of an asshole. For some reason, my mind comforts and calms itself through thumb sucking (or thumb sucking like gestures). If I take that away, there'll be one less way for me to comfort myself, and I'll be a dick about it. If you tried to change your subconscious methods of relaxation or peace of mind, you'd be a dick too, so don't. You're probably already enough of an ass face for our liking anyway. No need to amplify it. Besides, someone, somewhere likes you for it. You're a better person when you're just being yourself, so get comfortable in your own skin. You owe it to the world. Douche.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

dude, i just read that post, and i found myself in precisely the same pose as you were in the picture. it's fucking uncanny. you tryin to copy me?

-bobo

Cletus said...

You are NOT a douche. Let Prince Charles take over that role, he's Camilla's douche, he's got the market cornered anyway.

Unknown said...

Did you ever read the book "thumbsucker"? I forgot who it's by, but it's good.
They also made a movie of it, which was not as good, as we book-lovers love to tout.