Humbuggery abounds, Echo Chamber. I'm haunted by visions of slowly navigating parking lots, the familiar apprehension of "Will they like it?", the crowds of snarling moms and grimacing in-laws, hating every second of life while wishing everyone "Happy Holidays". No one can afford it... everyone's broke, at least broker than they'd like to be right now. Hard to satisfy rampant, unchecked consumerism. Hard to satisfy a lifetime of guilt by giving that five bucks to a bum once a year.
Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men. These things were invented by clever writers. Most of the people you encounter on a daily basis wish you were dead. Especially with all this Yuletide cheer wafting through the air among cinnamon scented candles and imitation pine. Have another rum, Poppa Bing. It'll come in handy when you have to beat your wife and kids immediately proceeding this last take of "White Christmas".
Let's face it. We all hate Christmas time. Sure, if one happened to develop a mild feud with a family member sometime during the year, it's a time to reconsider those feelings and embrace family. Besides that though, it's a time of year we spend money we don't have on things the people we don't like don't even want. We over stay our visits, over eat, and over extend our emotional capacity trying to make everyone happy. The result is a deep and unruly hatred for our neighbors, bitterly expressed through a thin lacy veil of "Merry Christmas" and an under-the-breath symphony of expletives and insults unmatched by the most elite of the cuss word enthusiasts.
Yes. And a very merry Christmas to you sir.
Slayer rings, are ya listenin'
In the alley, puke is glistenin'.
A horrible sight
we're depressed tonight
crawling through a winter wonderland.
I know... that was totally gay. Hey... Guess what?! I just warmed you up a nice bowl of feces and milk - eat up!
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